Why doesn’t anyone support me?
Imagine you’re a natural born talent with animated capabilities who is proven destined for the stage. You possess the ability to immerse yourself into a completely different character, or amplify the one you naturally carry, that’s believable to follow in a story being told on said stage (or video/film, etc).
The audience watching finds value in it because it brings them things like: laughter and joy, introspection, a reflection of themselves within a character/performance… or it allows a mindless moment to relax and be entertained to their liking.
You then decide it’s time to put this skill into another vehicle—taking it a step further from how you usually express your gift, so you start preparing to star in a one-act show; written, directed by and starring you.
After endless months of creating this project, rehearsing, informing loved ones & social media, and pulling strings to assure this play can be presented free-of-charge so people are more willing to show up… opening night is officially here!
Behind the veil on stage, you stand facing forward in the dark with anticipation.
When the curtains open… at a split second before your mouth utters the first line… your eyes scan a scarce room of a couple familiar faces. Or even worse… no one filling the seats at all.
And why is that?
It seems like people will waste their money on things they don’t need or quickly buy from strangers before they allow themselves to put a dime toward a dream of someone they actually know.
But why is that?
Why No One Supports You: 5 Reasons Why the People You Know Never Come Through
This blog post is a note to anyone who has ever been brave enough to create something ‘out of nothing’ for themselves only to be met with crickets—especially when a form of payment comes as a requirement.
So no one sees value in what I’m offering???
Do they even care…
Family? Friends? Strangers? Social media algorithm—
Here’s the real reason why no one supports you. I will share five main culprits. Point #4 is the true underlying issue to this problem. Keep reading.
You will read the points below from the perspective most relevant to you.
Some will read and think of the support or lack thereof toward their weight loss goals, business, product/service, social media content, running for some position, a competition, etc…
while others may see it from the perspective of the support or lack thereof within family structures. These points are all valid, fit it where it does.
READ: Why Commenting on People’s Weight Is Rude
Okay, so…
1. No one cares about what you care about more than you
And it shows.
It’s natural to respond to what affects us -directly- in a certain way vs things that don’t -directly- have anything to do with us.
Though a natural response, this is why empathy as a whole is important. In this case, when the roles are reversed, and it’s time for you to support someone else… you should ~share the feeling~ with the one seeking your support and follow through in a way in which you’re able and willing, giving how you’d want to be given unto you.
This is a challenge for some to do who have never had enough ambition to be placed in a position of needing the collective support from others. OR, they have no interest in helping you for whatever reason—personal or not.
2. They don’t see what you see
You birthed a creation, have this budding idea or an objective for something; there’s a sense of pride that comes along with that. Care and attention accompanies this as well, and only you are willing to cater to it in the way it needs to be tended to in order to achieve the goal you envision. You have your reasons as to why you continue to pursue this thing, and you have a vivid picture painted in your mind that you’re actively aiming to bring to fruition. These reasons are your driving factors and they mean something to you that you deem valuable.
Count how many times the word ‘you’ is in the paragraph above.
Since people want to SEE the “finished product” or idea manifested to their idea of worthiness before supporting, it’s usually not until a good handful of people pitch in or acknowledge what you’re doing that acts as a prerequisite to be considered worthy to put some respect on your name and hop on board with the rest (refer to point #4). The big picture is not only now painted but seen by people other than the goal-setter themselves.
3. Jealousy is a dis-ease shining a light on insecurities
I don’t entertain hateration in the dancery because like any other sin—yes, I said sin—we all conjure envious feels from time to time; like anything else, it’s all about how you respond.
As I always like to say: feelings of wanting what someone else has is exposing where you ~feel~ you are lacking, giving you the opportunity to address what it is you truly need & want, why, and if you really need or deserve it.
The state of envy, feelings of jealousy, is the opportunity to recognize:
who it is I am, what it is I want and why I want it.
‘Why does this make me feel this way?’
Their path vs mine…
‘I focus on me.’
In terms of what’s in your control, the only thing that can be of benefit or disservice to you are your own actions and the intentions behind those actions, and it always comes full circle back around to you regardless. Always.
So, if someone doesn’t want to support you because they’re jealous… in their mind, they think by helping in any way they’re capable of is a threat to their own needs and an unwanted reminder of the unsatisfied state they’re currently in.
4. Majority of people are followers
Here’s an example: Crocs are ugly and many people acclaim their comfortability. I will be the one to remind you, they’re clown shoes and we used to clown that store as we walked past it in the mall back in the day.
Fast forward to 2021 and crocs are trending. Now offering an extensive range of looks and options that once weren’t available, now here to cater to the company’s latest buyers.
It wasn’t until a consumer saw how the shoe was valuable to them and approached it with their own unique style. Those who witness someone else doing something “foreign” sparks courage to do the same. This newfound courage could be unveiled after suppressing a desire once feared to follow, but now comfortable with because they don’t appear to be the only one…
OR there’s inspiration… after being exposed to something put in a way never seen before that one finds familiarity and/or comfort in.
OR the adoption is done because of the perks that come with following along (credibility, attention…stuff like that). This is true for all things new and not popular (i.e. unfamiliar). Attributes or status of a certain who and their rank of value seen by the follower also has a say so in being influenced. Trust and admiration is the motivating factor for this.
Folks accept concepts, adopt behaviors and buy into things that cater to their ego and survival.
Meaning, if it will provide a tangible return on investment and/or satisfy who it is they are on a vain level—all in baybee.
*whispers* here’s the real truth…
Many people won’t support what they can’t benefit off of in some way shape or form:
• Nature of the relationship and the value it already brings; off-the-ground support in the form of ideas, advice, feedback and word-of-mouth brought up in relevant conversation is a given
• Monetary investment toward XYZ given out of genuine care or calculated ROI expectation
• Paid to help or talk about what’s being supported
• Association with what receives attention aka “clout”
• Emotional and/or practical value founded in what’s offered (even if convinced to believe so: read #5)
5. People spend their money and time where they’ve been convinced to
It’s true.
Whether the convincing comes from self, outside of self or convinced by what’s disguised as self.
Yeah, it’s that deep.
What is SUPPORT and what does it look like?
Support is helping hold one up in whatever way they need assistance.
What support looks like depends on the nature of what one needs support in (e.g., reaching a goal, business/product(s)/service-related, caring for someone, etc).
Support is bringing something of *value to help assist.
*value = important/useful/worthy
Along with money (which is valuable because of its requirement of exchange toward sustainability), value also comes in the form of: communication, how things are communicated, one’s characteristics/personality, skills/gifts/abilities, presence, intention, etc.
Take these closing cents and put it in your back pocket:
• Be consistent. Know your why and stand by it. Educate yourself where you need, and be honest with yourself about your abilities and goals.
• In terms of content creation, businesses, products and services… your first idea will not be the one you retire off of or get rich or notoriety from… whether if that’s what you’re looking for or not. I know this first hand. Remain patient and purposeful as you build your blocks, every journey is different.
• Support others selflessly and know that even the force of your intention is always being accounted for behind-the-scenes and reciprocated abundantly. Ahem: users and clout chasers attract excess users and clout chasers, for instance.
• Sacred goals should always remain with self. It’s FOR YOU, first and foremost. Sometimes things shared can serve as inspiration, but it shouldn’t take you off your path in the process, so… what would be the real reason for you sharing something that hasn’t happened yet? What would be the real reason for sharing even after it does? Or in real-time? Question that then proceed with what makes sense for the purpose you’re doing it for.
• Don’t delude yourself and be honest. Is it that no one’s supporting you or things just haven’t taken off in the way you see them to? Is that close friend or family member not actually supporting you or you’re not recognizing the type of value they’ve been giving thus far? Respond appropriately if you sense jealousy is an issue. Also, what about you… where have you come through and fallen short within certain relationships and/or your goals? Know this.
• The “I can do it by myself, I don’t need nobody” mantra is a whole lie, and I’m not about to go into detail explaining why in this post.
It’s not enough to know a person to support them. The nature of what’s needed and being offered support-wise does vary and should be present in some way if you claim to actually support each other. Loyalty is everything and the quality of the relationship will dictate the level of support and strength of those pillars, such as what the normal ~give and take~ expressed between y’all is like and each person’s intention behind-the-scenes.
It’s also not enough for you to post something on social media or knock on someone’s door and expect them to buy what you’re selling ‘just because’ you’re passionate about it or trying to make a living from it. Refer to points 4 & 5.
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